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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46768) - you deserved it (127843)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (276356) - you deserved it (23305)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (485447)
On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (184995) - you deserved it (21608)
On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177991) - you deserved it (61464)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28455) - you deserved it (1270)
On 11/12/2008 at 10:57pm - work - by 911 - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I was taking my three year old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50095) - you deserved it (2521)
On 10/29/2008 at 7:57am - kids - by LifeSucks - Canada (Quebec)
Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70428) - you deserved it (11889)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:28am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I woke up and switched on the TV. The first thing I saw was a picture of a wanted rapist, who looks just like me. I'm afraid to leave home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (226647) - you deserved it (18797)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi -
Monday 20 May 2013
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