About writtenmusic : Ummm...
I'm kinda random on occasions, just putting that out there. I wouldn't say that I'm a grammar nazi but I totally understand where their coming from.
I like the color pink. Alot. But I also like the color blue. Alot.
That picture of me, that's from my halloween party last year. I was a witch. C=
Oh and I play the clarinet, piano and violin, just not very well.
About writtenmusic : Ummm...
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writtenmusic's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/18/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML
by sarahwittman / 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
by John jacob / 06/13/2011 at 2:25am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Love
Today, I was at a band concert with 500 other people. The song they were performing stopped, and I loved it so much I stood up and clapped. Everyone stared, while I slowly realized the song wasn't over. FML
by RedFace / 04/05/2011 at 10:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a party 40 minutes away by bus with some friends. We missed the bus, waited half an hour for the second, and arrived just in time to hear the policemen say, "Party's over. Get outta here." FML
by inthecold / 02/19/2011 at 12:41am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
Today, I went to my boyfriend's house and sat around while he played video games. He turned to me and could see I was annoyed. Then he told his friends on XBox Live that he needed a 10 minute break to have sex with me. FML
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, I ate at Chipotle. There was a girl sitting alone, so I asked if I could eat lunch with her. She said yes, and as I sat down I tried to open my bag of chips. When trying to do so, my hand slipped, and I punched myself in the face. She laughed, and promptly left. FML
by justmyluck? / 02/17/2011 at 10:02pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML
by biglady / 02/17/2011 at 2:02am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by hannah / 02/17/2011 at 12:58am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids
Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:15pm / Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/14/2011 at 12:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I had to say a deep sincere speech on assembly in front of the whole college on the recent floods in Queensland. Instead of saying "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked down, we get back up" I stumbled and said "We are Queenslanders, when we get knocked up..." FML
by knockedup / 02/13/2011 at 5:00am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except… Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much… Today, I realized why my dad got mad when he found out that my girlfriend and I have sex. Turns out…