About writingkarma : Fangirl prone to quotations and geeking out. It's pretty awesome.
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writingkarma's favorite FMLs
Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML
by J / 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm / United Kingdom (Stockport) / Miscellaneous
Today, as my boyfriend was trying to convince me that he was not having an affair with another woman named Julie, he looked me in the eye and exclaimed, "I would never cheat on you, I love you more than anything, Julie". FML
by princesspea / 02/07/2009 at 11:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met at a speed dating event. He recommended the lamb shank, which I ordered without looking at the menu. When the waiter took my order, my date said, "wait, the lamb is $27, why don't you get the chicken". He then ordered the lamb for himself. FML
by bettysue / 02/06/2009 at 10:37am / United States (California) / Love
by nycgirl424 / 02/05/2009 at 5:29pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML
by disgusting / 02/04/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML
by rexob / 02/04/2009 at 10:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Noname / 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML
by Noname / 12/30/2008 at 11:53am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by froulita / 10/31/2008 at 2:08am / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Love
- Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the… Today, as I snuck downstairs for a midnight movie, I witnessed my dad "polishing his wand" to Harry… Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when her cat attacked me. I was pissed, so I grabbed…