wokawokanomnom

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wokawokanomnom

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 935
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About wokawokanomnom : Currently goin to sac state to become a cop and i go on fmls to laugh at how stupid a lot of people can be

wokawokanomnom's page activity

Visits<b>frnk</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 11:06pm<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 9:49am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 6:21pm<b>ImKinger</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 4:27pm<b>Gladeryn</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 1:23pm<b>Arieslink</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 9:41pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 12:15am<b>One_Way</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 3:24am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 2:59pm<b>kieman</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 3:10am<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:39pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:37pm<b>maggieisbatman</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:07am<b>silon5</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:00pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 4:12pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 2:38am<b>RootedPumpkin</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 11:34am<b>Movel</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 12:44pm

Fucked!<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 5:33am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 8:59pm

wokawokanomnom's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of wokawokanomnom's badges

wokawokanomnom's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

by jhughes1997 / 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at McDonald's. As I left the counter with the food, I heard the cashier mutter, "Fat ass." I turned around and demanded to see the manager. Once he came and heard the situation, he looked at me and said, "Well, it's not like he's wrong, right?" FML

by first time at McDonald's in months... / 03/27/2013 at 1:04am / United States / Health

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML

by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML

by ayye_its_nikki / 12/19/2012 at 12:07am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far, and I've already pulled five carving forks out of four different people. Good job, everybody. FML

by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE / 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2012 at 5:45am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy