About wofwofdoggy : A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself -Josh Billings
Dogs leave paw prints on our hearts... RIP Pancho
The rules are the rules
Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (30229)
On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (1953)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:53am - work - by fuckedbyretail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29636) - you deserved it (7516)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25416) - you deserved it (14161)
On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia
Today, a male employee at a shoe shop helped me try on shoes. Once I found a pair, I went to pay for them. I was telling the cashier about how great of an employee he was when she told me there were no male employees. A guy with a foot fetish helped me find shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31059) - you deserved it (2887)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:21am - misc - by footfetish - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20851) - you deserved it (3843)
On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (1157)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)
Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (2888)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil
Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26046) - you deserved it (3061)
On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8697) - you deserved it (19518)
On 02/01/2013 at 2:59pm - love - by 3some? uh, no (woman) - Dominican Republic
Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16479) - you deserved it (24093)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia
Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (7966)
On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France
Today, I actually considered my boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (3687)
On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, most of my neighbours came to my house in an angry mob to complain about my dog barking. I don't have a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (1622)
On 02/01/2013 at 1:09am - animals - by Angry Mob - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21881) - you deserved it (1672)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
