wizardatheart21

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wizardatheart21

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 18 February 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1536
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About wizardatheart21 : i think fmls are funny, and i sometimes feel the need to make a witty remark. not often, though. nothing too fancy.

wizardatheart21's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of wizardatheart21's badges

wizardatheart21's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a corner store to re-stock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

by fmlgrl / 07/30/2012 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother was leaving the house to attend her sister's funeral. Just as she was walking out the door, my brain experienced the most horrific shart imaginable, and I uttered through my reassuring smile, "Have a blast." FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 4:15pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML

by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids

Today, I had a violent sneezing attack while changing my phone's password and now I have no idea what it could be. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend of seven months and I were looking at some pictures on his iPad. I saw a picture of a kid of about two years old that looked a little like him. I jokingly said, "What, is that your son?" Imagine my surprise when he said that it was. FML

by confusedbutloved / 07/08/2012 at 8:42am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boss grabbed my arm, raised it above my head, closed my other hand into a fist, and pushed it into his armpit. After staring at me for several seconds, he winked and left without saying a word. This isn't the weirdest thing he's done, and I'm actually starting to fear for my safety. FML

by thinkimquitting / 06/25/2012 at 5:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I realized my paranoia is really bad when I saw my coworker holding a knife and immediately began thinking of ways to keep him from stabbing me. I work in a restaurant kitchen. FML

by Jonas / 06/06/2012 at 1:00am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML

by Mark / 06/05/2012 at 10:21pm / United States / Work

Today, I received my first negative feedback on my otherwise flawless eBay record. The woman who bought the item said it wasn't as delicious as she was expecting, so there must be something wrong with it. What was I selling? A new and unopened lipstick. FML

by facepalm / 06/05/2012 at 10:48am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML

by Scared / 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

by nanall / 06/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States / Kids

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 1:43pm / Spain (Castilla y Leon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise. I stood up, took a moment to soak up some sunlight, and then spent the next hour too scared to go make my morning coffee, after my mother loudly moaned, "Ah yeah, give it to me, Woody!" from down the hall. FML

by huh / 06/02/2012 at 4:31pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Intimacy