withered

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withered

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3914
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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withered's page activity

Visits<b>tisvana18</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:16pm<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 8:24am<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:02pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:03am<b>baseballpanda</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:48am<b>az3pic</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Blade12337</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:47pm<b>wafflethekid</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:29pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:30am<b>Tikwichka</b> - the 06/26/2010 at 12:32pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 2:51am<b>crzyry</b> - the 01/16/2010 at 3:04pm<b>TheGuyOverThere</b> - the 01/13/2010 at 7:45pm<b>Candyholic</b> - the 01/13/2010 at 7:37pm<b>bullschewisam</b> - the 01/11/2010 at 3:47pm<b>dentinpalevo</b> - the 12/29/2009 at 10:42am

Fucked!<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:46pm

withered's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of withered's badges

withered's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

by leigh2812 / 01/05/2010 at 5:03pm / Love

Today, I found out that shutting off the heat in the rental property my parents owned was a bad idea. The water froze and the pipes burst, causing the whole kitchen ceiling to fall down. The water ruined the wood floors and the appliances. I turned off the heat to save money. FML

by WorkSexMonkey / 01/04/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

by jumpy / 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

by ohdear / 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM, and I'd just finished watching a scary movie, so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep, when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 11:35am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2009 at 3:06am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 7 year old looks at me and states, "When I grow up Mommy I want to be fat just like you." FML

by Missyangel / 12/31/2009 at 2:39am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend about having kids. We were outside a hotel in front of those rotating glass doors. One of my friends ran at me as a joke, screaming like a caveman. I freaked out in a high pitched squeal, and tried to run inside the hotel. I ran in the wrong way. FML

by Spac3Ghost / 12/28/2009 at 12:08pm / China (Beijing) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

by Kelly / 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my family and I are driving down to France and it's going to take 4 hours. If that wasn't bad enough, my mum decides that she is going to listen to the CD my sister bought her for Christmas on repeat for the whole journey. It's Lady Gaga. FML

by OhGodKillMeNow / 12/26/2009 at 6:42am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Holidays

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

by sucks_brah / 12/25/2009 at 2:25am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stepped outside for a smoke. It was 1 a.m. Thinking no one was around, I let out a series of loud, nasty-sounding farts. I looked over to my left to see the neighbor, whom I've never met, also smoking, and staring at me. That was his first impression of me. FML

by FlGirl / 12/24/2009 at 2:00am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

by Klamp18 / 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

by embaressed / 12/19/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML