withered

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Offline (the 07/23/2016 at 11:19pm)

withered

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4428
  • Number of comments : 408
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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withered's page activity

Visits<b>lusanna</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:47am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 7:32am<b>Tehlu</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:36am<b>Solsticee</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 6:45pm<b>RetroGameNinja</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 6:32pm<b>Faby96</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:36am<b>alexis8525</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:55pm<b>Shaky_Spear</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:39pm<b>stereomommy</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:24am<b>interesting33</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 8:00am<b>Steephx0</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 8:58pm<b>indelicato12</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 8:01pm<b>wowthisislame</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 2:53pm<b>dumplings525</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 10:36am<b>ChiefRK</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 5:40pm<b>rockersxx</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 11:36am<b>qteabutt</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 1:07pm

Fucked!<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:46pm

withered's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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withered's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed I give myself pep-talks when I'm lonely. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 10:31pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:09pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I went to move my dog that had been napping in the middle of my bed for the last few hours, only to discover that he wasn't napping. He died. FML

by jrad / 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, my 72 year old Grandmother informed me she's running for mayor. She's been going around town with home made signs all day campaigning to win mayor. She lives in my town. My friend called me asking me if she was high. FML

by AnnaWusHere / 09/03/2010 at 2:18am / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my way to work, the obese old guy in the house opposite mine offered me tips on my yoga technique. Not only were his tips helpful, but I now know I should either close my curtains or put clothes on when I do yoga. FML

by nakedyogagirl / 09/02/2010 at 8:16pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a stomach virus. I tried to make myself throw up to feel better. My long nails sliced open my throat from the inside, and I threw up blood. FML

by Sickie. / 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML

by CreepedOut / 08/29/2010 at 3:45pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

by Kelli / 08/28/2010 at 12:56am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I pretended like I was dead to my 4 year old brother. He cried my name for a couple of seconds, then took my iPhone out of my hands and ran away laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2010 at 8:19pm / United States / Kids

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

by perfectlybrokenx / 08/24/2010 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, all the while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

by feartheend511 / 08/19/2010 at 11:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave blood. He sneezed while he stuck the needle in my arm. FML

by gorey / 08/18/2010 at 9:26pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

by anonymous / 08/15/2010 at 9:12am / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm / United States / Love