withered

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withered

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4013
  • Number of comments : 160
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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withered's page activity

Visits<b>gam3bust3r</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 1:16pm<b>taylapenguin</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 5:32am<b>trucker2</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:40pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 9:57pm<b>tisvana18</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:16pm<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 8:24am<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:02pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:03am<b>baseballpanda</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:48am<b>az3pic</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Blade12337</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:47pm<b>wafflethekid</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:29pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:30am<b>Tikwichka</b> - the 06/26/2010 at 12:32pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 2:51am<b>crzyry</b> - the 01/16/2010 at 3:04pm<b>TheGuyOverThere</b> - the 01/13/2010 at 7:45pm

Fucked!<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:46pm

withered's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of withered's badges

withered's favorite FMLs

Today, we were working with infant and adult CPR dummies. After practising flawless CPR on the adult dummy, I announced "And that's how you save someone." Then I tripped on the baby dummy and fell. My co-worker stood up and yelled out, "And that's how you kill a baby." FML

by DUMMIE / 03/03/2010 at 7:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

by Anonymous / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

by moneyman22 / 03/01/2010 at 2:09pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2010 at 7:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML

by princess4242 / 02/26/2010 at 4:10am / India (Delhi) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

by popeye / 02/25/2010 at 10:18am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

by Lespoon / 02/25/2010 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling really stressed so I bought some nice stress relieving lotion. When I got home, I took it out of the bag and accidentally dropped it (not realizing it was made of glass). The bottle shattered into pieces and I even cut my finger on one piece. So much for relieving stress. FML

by Stress / 02/23/2010 at 7:56pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

by batter--up / 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at my new job at a veterinary hospital, I was excited that I set a urinary catheter in a dog for the first time. I guess I was a little too enthusiastic though, because I pulled it out too fast and bloody urine splashed up all over my face. FML

by alex / 02/16/2010 at 11:43am / United States (Oklahoma) / Work

Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

by Biological / 02/11/2010 at 7:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML

by creepster / 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/10/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I went to the store and bought some cream to help with a sunburn I'd gotten a few days ago. What's worse than having red, peeling, and painful skin? An allergic reaction on top of it. FML

by anonymous / 02/10/2010 at 3:59pm / United States / Health