withered

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withered

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3910
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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withered's page activity

Visits<b>tisvana18</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 2:16pm<b>danimal_crackerz</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 8:24am<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 12:02pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 8:03am<b>baseballpanda</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:48am<b>az3pic</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Blade12337</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:47pm<b>wafflethekid</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:29pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 2:30am<b>Tikwichka</b> - the 06/26/2010 at 12:32pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 2:51am<b>crzyry</b> - the 01/16/2010 at 3:04pm<b>TheGuyOverThere</b> - the 01/13/2010 at 7:45pm<b>Candyholic</b> - the 01/13/2010 at 7:37pm<b>bullschewisam</b> - the 01/11/2010 at 3:47pm<b>dentinpalevo</b> - the 12/29/2009 at 10:42am

Fucked!<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:46pm

withered's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of withered's badges

withered's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my sister to pluck my eyebrows. She shaped them wrong, so now I look constantly sad. FML

by OhNo / 07/13/2010 at 11:02am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Miscellaneous

Today, my schlong decided to enter Mortal Kombat with my pants zipper. Guess which of the two won a flawless victory? FML

by liu_kang / 03/16/2010 at 2:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I got home early from work. When I got home I got to see my dad chasing my mom around the house, naked. FML

by ugh / 03/12/2010 at 1:05am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

by ShowOff / 03/11/2010 at 3:13am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML

by watersport / 03/10/2010 at 12:56pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

by gotitEVERYWHERE / 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, a drunk truck driver taught me a very valuable lesson: Never tie your shoelaces in the middle of a parking lot. FML

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

by fatlady / 03/07/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I apologized to my boyfriend for thinking he was cheating on me right before another girl posted pictures of them together on her myspace. FML

by me / 03/07/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

by OhaiiKid / 03/07/2010 at 12:02am / United States (Georgia) / Geek

Today, I was so bored at work that I put a zip tie on my finger just for the excitement of trying to get it off. FML

by Maxx / 03/06/2010 at 10:56pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 12:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML

by drunk / 03/06/2010 at 2:38am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML

by artsmart1 / 03/05/2010 at 7:40pm / United States / Health