withered

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Offline (the 07/23/2016 at 11:19pm)

withered

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4418
  • Number of comments : 408
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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withered's page activity

Visits<b>lusanna</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:47am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 7:32am<b>Tehlu</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:36am<b>Solsticee</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 6:45pm<b>RetroGameNinja</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 6:32pm<b>Faby96</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:36am<b>alexis8525</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:55pm<b>Shaky_Spear</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:39pm<b>stereomommy</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:24am<b>interesting33</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 8:00am<b>Steephx0</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 8:58pm<b>indelicato12</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 8:01pm<b>wowthisislame</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 2:53pm<b>dumplings525</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 10:36am<b>ChiefRK</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 5:40pm<b>rockersxx</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 11:36am<b>qteabutt</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 1:07pm

Fucked!<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:46pm

withered's FML badges

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You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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withered's favorite FMLs

Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

by Petitprof / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

by nurse / 11/03/2010 at 8:08am / Reserved / Work

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

by StayPositive / 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm / United States (Maine) / Love

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

by gingerninja / 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

by meegs / 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

by hannahj88 / 10/16/2010 at 12:41am / Australia / Work

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 10:45am / Brunei Darussalam / Love

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

by hospital / 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

by jabba / 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2010 at 1:08am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

by blah blah daddy / 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, when I stopped at a light, I tossed a banana peel into a field along the side of the road. The man behind me got out of his car, picked up the banana peel and threw it back into my car at me. When I tried to tell him it was biodegradable, he told me to "stop making up words." FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2010 at 9:47am / United Kingdom / Transportation