withered

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Offline (the 07/23/2016 at 11:19pm)

withered

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4414
  • Number of comments : 408
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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withered's page activity

Visits<b>lusanna</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 6:47am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 7:32am<b>Tehlu</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 11:36am<b>Solsticee</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 6:45pm<b>RetroGameNinja</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 6:32pm<b>Faby96</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 2:36am<b>alexis8525</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:55pm<b>Shaky_Spear</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 3:39pm<b>stereomommy</b> - the 06/22/2016 at 7:24am<b>interesting33</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 5:12pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 8:00am<b>Steephx0</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 8:58pm<b>indelicato12</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 8:01pm<b>wowthisislame</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 2:53pm<b>dumplings525</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 10:36am<b>ChiefRK</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 5:40pm<b>rockersxx</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 11:36am<b>qteabutt</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 1:07pm

Fucked!<b>interesting33</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 6:46pm

withered's FML badges

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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withered's favorite FMLs

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm / France / Animals

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / Belgium / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my over protective brother is going to move in with me when he gets out of jail. My chances of ever being in a relationship are now next to zero. FML

by sammsamm56 / 01/16/2011 at 2:27pm / United States / Love

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

by Gabriel A / 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

by ash / 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my mom duly informed me I'm the reason people have middle fingers. FML

by edulover / 12/31/2010 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Money

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2010 at 8:09am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids