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withered

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withered
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2452
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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withered's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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withered's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

#14296001
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (11727)

On 12/22/2010 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML

#13699174
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (4417)

On 11/03/2010 at 8:08am - work - by nurse (woman) - Reserved

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

#13692696
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17129) - you deserved it (6660)

On 11/02/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by StayPositive - United States (Maine)

Today, our class was focusing on discrimination, and our teacher asked us if anyone had ever felt discriminated against. I put my hand up to share a story, and my teacher immediately said "It's because you're ginger, isn't it?" That's not what I was going to say. FML

#13688243
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33578) - you deserved it (5772)

On 11/02/2010 at 1:43pm - misc - by gingerninja (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mother, my aunt, and my two sisters are all on their periods. I can't even brush my teeth in my own house without being treated like a criminal. FML

#13641509
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38776) - you deserved it (4368)

On 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

#13476444
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7258) - you deserved it (19720)

On 10/16/2010 at 8:31pm - misc - by meegs (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, as I put my 4 year old daughter in the car seat, she dropped her crayon. She then paused and matter-of-factly said, "Mommy, I don't say 'f***' anymore when I drop things." FML

#13450247
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (8044)

On 10/14/2010 at 8:25pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML

#13432971
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39691) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/13/2010 at 10:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Brunei Darussalam

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30422) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (29232)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went jet skiing with my girlfriend of four years. I intended to propose to her. The $2000 ring fell out of my pocket and into the lake. I have no idea where it is. FML

#13317207
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19506) - you deserved it (42791)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14792) - you deserved it (35572)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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