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withered

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withered
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2457
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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withered's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of withered's badges

withered's favorite FMLs

Today, I caught my wife slipping penis enlargement pills into my coffee. FML

#17795601
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43501) - you deserved it (7941)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:20pm - intimacy - by ThisBlows (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48044) - you deserved it (5816)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML

#17779668
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31868) - you deserved it (2415)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML

#14622916
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after some filing mistakes, and a lot of waiting on hold, I'm finally registered for Spring classes. I was ready to enjoy this term, until I found out that my ex, who was forced into therapy after he threatened to kill me, is in half of my classes. FML

#14622823
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25895) - you deserved it (2261)

On 01/18/2011 at 3:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML

#14616201
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23959) - you deserved it (3592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in high school, we had a presentation about sex, condoms, etc. After a while, the lady explained that we should get to know our sexual organs better. "For example, my daughter looks at her vagina in front of a mirror to check it out." I’m her daughter. FML

#14614725
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57026) - you deserved it (5880) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Belgium - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

#14614726
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14481) - you deserved it (38244) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41450) - you deserved it (2813) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I found out that my over protective brother is going to move in with me when he gets out of jail. My chances of ever being in a relationship are now next to zero. FML

#14601151
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (3157)

On 01/16/2011 at 2:27pm - love - by sammsamm56 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

#14594110
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32718) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14406) - you deserved it (71864)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, after staying up all night at my friend's house, I woke up to something I couldn't identify on my cheek, so I slapped it away. When I heard crying, I opened my eyes and realized it was my friend's three year old sister who was trying to be sweet by kissing me on the cheek. FML

#14577933
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29162) - you deserved it (13917)

On 01/14/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by ash (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

#14526378
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8888) - you deserved it (24413)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

#14526160
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34425) - you deserved it (5147)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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