About winfieldALJD : I had an FML posted, but it was later taken down because someone else had apparently already used the song, but yeah it was the better one that used "I Can't Get No Satisfaction." Been a naturalist for quite some time. The photo above is Lion Faced Tasmin, I thought they were pretty cool when I first saw them! I also hope btown1616 reads my comments
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Today, I realized that all the times I checked behind the shower curtain before peeing didn't prepare me for what to do if someone was actually there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23520) - you deserved it (2509)
On 05/13/2012 at 11:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (38123)
On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16123) - you deserved it (32351)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
I agree, your life sucks (26814) - you deserved it (3816)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my step dad stole over $400 worth of savings from me. He spent it alcohol, fireworks, and a very large sombrero. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (2730)
On 07/18/2011 at 9:08am - misc - by _TaToRtOt_ (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (79161)
On 07/14/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by gir - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (2712)
On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11193) - you deserved it (25902)
On 06/14/2011 at 10:23am - work - by patrickalamo - United States (Texas)
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend "Actually, its a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48761) - you deserved it (3087)
On 06/13/2011 at 5:11am - misc - by Bechara (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)
Today, I discovered a tick on my penis. After a long battle, he finally let go. Four hours later I'm in the hospital. My penis is twice the normal size. I may have won the battle but lost the war. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40873) - you deserved it (4217)
On 06/13/2011 at 2:25am - intimacy - by John jacob - United States (Georgia)
Today, I helped my parents move out of their old house. While I was guiding my dad down the stairs with the couch, my mom asked me to pick up the tape on the step below me. I bent over and grunted. My dad thought I said "Go" and kept moving. He knocked me down two flights of steps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (3305)
On 05/02/2011 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18250) - you deserved it (31118)
On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18250) - you deserved it (31118)
On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20408) - you deserved it (2641)
On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was in the emergency room. The doctor told me that my injuries and back problems are the intensity of those after a car accident. I slipped on a grape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29480) - you deserved it (4479)
On 04/08/2011 at 6:35am - health - by ridella -
Monday 20 May 2013
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