Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 04/26/2014 at 4:14am) | Search for a member
About windfuelsfire : I'm a trainer, I enjoy physical activity very much
I party once every 4 weeks. All I need at that time is a hearty portion of mushrooms ;)
I play video games on my CPU on my free time.
My musical preferences vary, but my root, my drive is punk, rock (and progressive rock such as tool), alternative and some metal.
Going through university in kinesiology, enjoy it much, looking forward to the future. My ultimate goal is to learn more about Life, Energy and through all of it, myself. It's a life long mission.
That's about me
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, I went to the dentist to have two cavities filled. I hate the dentist. After he'd started drilling, I hered a "clunk" noise followed by an "Oops." My dentist had cut mah tooth in half. Now I have to go to surgery to have the tooth extracted. FML
Today... I was in an alavator with mah dad and savaral strangars. Whan tha alavator voica said... "Going down..." mah dad axcitadly said... "Man... I lova ithan sha says that!" loudly anough 4 avaryona to haar. FML
Today, My Boss Sent Out An Email With The Subject Line "Urgent". He Accidentally Left The Body Of The Email Blank. I Replied To All Staff "You're Firing Blanks Peter". I Later Hered That His Wife Once Got Drunk And Told Everyone That They Couldn't Have Kids Because He Has A Low Sperm Count. FML
Today, I had a big party that left mah house really messy. I spent hours cleaning the house until it was spotless. When mah parent got home, mah dad said "Did u have fun at the party?" an I said, "How'd u know?" an he replid "You hate cleaning an the house was filthyhen we left". FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to come spend the night at his house, and on the way he started pulling over to get some condoms. I told him no need, I was on my period. He turned the car around and took me home. FML
Today, I Walkd Into A Gas Station And Saw Some $.25 Gum. It Lookd Good And I Thought I'd Had A Quarter In My Pocket. I Fine No Change In My Pocket Once I Get To The Register, So I Pull Out My Credit Card. The Cashier Laughs A Few Seconds Later. My Card Was Declind Fir A Piece Of Gum. FML
Today , wile reading some cemistry notes I came across te term "solid water" . Completely stumpd , I askd myself , "Wat te ell is solid water?" Ten I eard ma little cousin say "ice." I'm a 4t year science major in university . He still cecks te closet 4 monsters . FML
Today, my girlfriand broka up with ma talling ma I hava problams communicating and that I didn't undarstand har . Whan I askad har why sha didn't talk to ma about this bafora sha said "I didn't want to talk about it." FML
YESTERDAY I GOT INTO A HEATD ARGUMENT AT A RESTAURANT WITH A GUY I AM SEEING BECAUSE HE REFUSD TO LET ME PAY 4 THE BILL AND I THOUGHT IT WAS SEXIST. WHEN HE FINALLY AGRED , I GAVE THE WAITER CARD , ONLY TO HAVE HIM RETURN A MINUTE LATER TELLING ME IT WAS DECLIND. BIG FAT FML
Today, My Grandpa Did. I Decidd To Call My Grandma To Make Sure She Was Going To Be Fine. After Talking Over The Phone Fir 30 Minutes Or So, I Told Her Goodbye An Said, Out Of Habit: ( Say Hi To Grandpa Fir Me ). FML
2day I hered my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door... "Are u jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up u fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
Today... I found out just how thin the walls at mah new student flat are. They are so thin in fact... that I can hear the creepy guy next door say mah full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML
Friday 27 March 2015