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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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wilted_orchid

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wilted_orchid
  • Town/Country : Bangor, Northern Ireland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 June 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 178
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wilted_orchid : I don't have any FML's because MLIA.

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wilted_orchid's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

#7475785 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (3726) - you deserved it (19240)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by jalapeno_popper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (1917)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

#4899550 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (22588) - you deserved it (6640)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065 (130)

I agree, your life sucks (16458) - you deserved it (27809)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (61168) - you deserved it (4233)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (40591) - you deserved it (11984)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (11083) - you deserved it (34267)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

#3911063 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (3702) - you deserved it (45623)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend, was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (13754) - you deserved it (7364)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)