Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wilted_orchid

Search for a member

wilted_orchid

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 June 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 346
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wilted_orchid : I don't have any FML's because MLIA.

wilted_orchid's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b>Kreb</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 9:10pm

wilted_orchid's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wilted_orchid's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

#7475785
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5093) - you deserved it (27088)

On 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm - misc - by jalapeno_popper (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38693) - you deserved it (2637)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

#4774065
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20500) - you deserved it (37768)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

#4619260
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68815) - you deserved it (5442)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

#4618349
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44024) - you deserved it (13249)

On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - animals - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

#4617560
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14532) - you deserved it (46737)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

#3911063
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4988) - you deserved it (59990)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm - misc - by loser (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (9699)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20348) - you deserved it (9699)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: