wilted_orchid

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wilted_orchid

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 June 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 493
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wilted_orchid : I don't have any FML's because MLIA.

wilted_orchid's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:00pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:42am<b>Kreb</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 9:10pm

wilted_orchid's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

wilted_orchid's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned the hard way why they say "four on the floor" at school. I leaned too far back while rocking in the chair and fell off. I grabbed the desk to save myself and it came down too. FML

by jalapeno_popper / 01/21/2010 at 3:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I took the kids I'm babysitting to the farm to feed the animals. They were a little scared of the llama, so I showed them how nice it was by feeding it a lot of bread. Then, as I was telling the farmer how I loved the llama and wanted to take it home, it spit grass and bread all over my face. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2009 at 2:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 1:37am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML

by anugla / 08/18/2009 at 1:02am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 12:38am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

by loser / 07/20/2009 at 6:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

by FractalSanity / 02/01/2009 at 3:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

by FractalSanity / 02/01/2009 at 3:11am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love