16
motos
moshing
funny stuff
other peoples hurt it my humor and sometimes my own hurt
=)
i like hugs!
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34105) - you totally deserved it (17250)
On 03/24/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by casey (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was trying to convince my boyfriend that I am NOT a dumb blonde. After screaming at the top of my lungs, I proceeded to trip over a bin and hit my head on a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12145) - you totally deserved it (56895)
On 03/24/2009 at 7:10pm - misc - by blondie (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML
I agree, your life sucks (107331) - you totally deserved it (13905)
On 03/24/2009 at 11:41am - love - by Kaeyne (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50921) - you totally deserved it (6412)
On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66629) - you totally deserved it (17751)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks,"Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66961) - you totally deserved it (5524)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got fired from my job for harassing customers over the weekend. I didn't work over the weekend. I left my nametag there on Friday and my co-workers thought it would be funny to wear my nametag all weekend. One of them got into a fight with a customer and they took her 'name' down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54190) - you totally deserved it (4238)
On 03/23/2009 at 8:08am - work - by McFired (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46429) - you totally deserved it (4522)
On 03/22/2009 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by liz1234 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64904) - you totally deserved it (11583)
On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21884) - you totally deserved it (84395)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went out for coffee with a guy I really like. We met up at the local café, and decided to sit at a counter in front of the window. We talked and flirted for a while. Then he kissed me, and while he was kissing me someone banged on the window. It was my parents. They didn't know I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61437) - you totally deserved it (18871)
On 03/21/2009 at 10:38pm - love - by clementine_k (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37539) - you totally deserved it (14063)
On 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Bden (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35219) - you totally deserved it (13003)
On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by mjayne17 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (120630) - you totally deserved it (10860)
On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21000) - you totally deserved it (80149)
On 03/20/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by Jesse (man) - United States (Kentucky)
