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whyusofat's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
whyusofat's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
by guaranteed service / 09/07/2012 at 2:49am / United States / Work
by steve / 09/05/2012 at 4:14am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by merissa22 / 09/01/2012 at 1:37pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
Today, the girl I went on an awkward date with two weeks ago showed up at university and started smashing my car with a bat. She then broke down in tears and alternated between declaring her love, and cussing me out for "cheating" on her. FML
by Anonymous / 08/31/2012 at 8:49pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, the pharmacist warned me that my antibiotics might cause slight gastrointestinal distress. The fact that I have been on the john for the past 90 minutes drenched in sweat would lead me to believe our definitions of "slight" are a bit different. FML
by jdch_99 / 08/29/2012 at 9:12am / United States / Health
by g'day cunt / 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm / Australia (South Australia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm / United Kingdom (Walsall) / Health
by baffled / 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous
by XYZee / 08/22/2012 at 4:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Health
Today, I was fooling around on Omegle, when I came across a guy who claimed he could suck himself off. I was doubtful, but morbidly curious, so I told him to prove it. Turns out he could. Before I could close the browser window in horror, my dad walked in and got a good look too. FML
by didntevenknow / 08/13/2012 at 11:06am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Intimacy
Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML
by stupid_airbag / 08/13/2012 at 4:06am / Australia / Health
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
by burnt / 08/13/2012 at 12:43am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
by daydreamer / 07/29/2012 at 1:12am / United States (Connecticut) / Health
- Today, I haven't had sex with my husband in over a year, but we're cruising craigslist too find a… Today, I grabbed my gf's moms tits from behind while grinding against her butt. My gf won't believe… Today, my girlfriend and I were making love and as I was reaching my climax, I push her off and she…