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whosyourpapa

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whosyourpapa

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  • Number of visits : 111
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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whosyourpapa's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my manager and I have synchronized menstrual cycles. She gets extremely bitchy, and I get extremely vulnerable and emotional - she yells at me and I burst into tears. FML

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4448) - you deserved it (44772)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6866) - you deserved it (24456)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22501) - you deserved it (3469)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26581) - you deserved it (8887)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

#20049344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31014) - you deserved it (2510)

On 08/30/2012 at 11:24am - love - by nice one (woman) -

Today, I bought a pack of toothpicks. There were 500 of them. When I got home I accidentally dropped the pack. After twenty long minutes of picking them up, I dropped them again. FML

#20042606
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21593) - you deserved it (10795)

On 08/26/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by S. (woman) - Estonia

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

#20020225
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (1680)

On 08/14/2012 at 5:06am - love - by cclllc (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31055) - you deserved it (8570)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that when a cyclist tears down the street, slaps you across the face as he passes, looks back laughing and flips you off, then crashes into a lamppost, he'll still blame you and threaten to sue, even after you rush over to check his injuries. FML

#20014116
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30641) - you deserved it (2116)

On 08/10/2012 at 8:45pm - health - by dumbasdogshit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

#20005230
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (5168)

On 08/06/2012 at 2:37am - love - by shastadoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why period blood couldn't be saved and donated to the hospital for transplants. FML

#19986009
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (2010)

On 07/26/2012 at 8:46pm - misc - by Carrie G. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was mugged. Not for a laptop, cell phone or money, but for the cupcake I was eating. FML

#19984969
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24976) - you deserved it (2209)

On 07/26/2012 at 6:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boyfriend got a new job. He'll be over the road for three weeks at a time, and home on the remaining week. Basically, I'll see him once a month. Guess which time of month it'll fall on. FML



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