About whatadaydanny : I decapitate frogs.
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by 3023-dang / 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Love
by Pissed / 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money
by anon / 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by tiredofthis / 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by whatadaydanny / 10/10/2012 at 9:58am / Dominica / Work
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
by assholecat / 10/10/2012 at 4:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals
by LovedByFamily / 10/08/2012 at 11:08am / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML
by Queso Dog / 10/02/2012 at 10:42am / Japan / Love
by fiftyno / 10/01/2012 at 11:02am / United States (Washington) / Love
by Oh_So_Klassical / 09/17/2012 at 9:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by UnluckyGroom / 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work
Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML
by theonlychildd1 / 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 11:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…