About what_a_mystery : i like peanut butter
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what_a_mystery's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on a hot date. After we finished supper we went back to his place. My stomach started to feel upset so I politely asked where is bathroom was so I could "powder my nose". After ten minutes of agonizing diarrhea, I looked down and noticed he was out of toilet paper. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 9:18am / Canada / Health
by clumbsy_at_best / 07/16/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Tanner / 07/16/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Tennessee) / Money
by Anonymous / 07/16/2011 at 1:38am / Canada / Love
Today, my friends told me all five of us should bring sleeping bags on our field trip; I brought mine only to find out they had told me that so they would get the four beds to themselves. They all 'forgot' to bring them and its only fair that I should sleep on the floor. We are here for a week. FML
by bananagurl4242 / 07/16/2011 at 1:34am / United States (Oklahoma) / Holidays
Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML
by jordy1995 / 07/16/2011 at 12:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
by Creep / 07/15/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Puerto Rico) / Love
Today, I was on the elevator at work. As it descended, a roach started scurrying about around my feet. I freaked out and started screaming, hitting the panic button without thinking. Now I'm facing a hefty fine for using the panic button when there wasn't a "real" emergency. FML
by Meg / 07/15/2011 at 6:24pm / United States (Florida) / Work
by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health
by evilwater / 07/15/2011 at 1:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by so much for a good day / 07/15/2011 at 1:14pm / United States / Health
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
by panos016 / 07/15/2011 at 9:51am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by TabbiNicole / 07/15/2011 at 7:38am / United States / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…