About what_a_mystery : i like peanut butter
what_a_mystery's FML badges
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what_a_mystery's favorite FMLs
Today, I was home alone, and enjoying my freedom decided to walk around naked blaring my radio. What my mother forgot to tell me before she left was that a guy was coming to fix our dish washer today. Imagine our mutual surprise as I danced around the kitchen while getting a drink. FML
by youjustsuck / 07/25/2011 at 2:07pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by montextes / 07/25/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Nevada) / Geek
Today, my friends and I rented a party bus, which broke down on the highway 45 minutes into the ride. I paid the guy for the whole four hours. He said he was going to flag down a car to get someone to help us. We saw him get into a car and leave. FML
by tim12345 / 07/25/2011 at 12:08pm / United States / Money
by Smokey9 / 07/25/2011 at 11:12am / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
by Bec / 07/25/2011 at 10:10am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by jgdgjyfg / 07/25/2011 at 3:21am / United Kingdom (Rotherham) / Health
by googlefreak54321 / 07/25/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Mississippi) / Love
by handyman13 / 07/25/2011 at 1:43am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Username / 07/20/2011 at 7:07pm / United States / Love
by cheddar / 07/20/2011 at 6:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Stacy Dee / 07/20/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, already knowing that my girlfriend wanted to be "just friends", I invited her over, hoping to change her mind. She was playfully drawing on me with a pen when I noticed she'd written "Emily's property" on my leg. I said "Aw, I'm yours?" She then drew a for-sale sign on me. FML
by John / 07/20/2011 at 12:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, while in line at a gas station, I felt something on my shoulder. I turned around only to see a woman behind me pulling the sunburnt skin off my shoulder. When I told her to stop, she yelled, hit me with her purse and ran off crying. FML
by therundown / 07/20/2011 at 9:38am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
by adamclmns / 07/16/2011 at 6:52pm / United States (Arkansas) / Health
Today, my six year old son came up to me with his arms spread and said, "I feel like a hug." I got really excited and hopeful because he is very anti-social and hates physical contact. As soon as I stood up to hug him he said "Feeling's gone" and walked away. FML
by Rejected / 07/16/2011 at 9:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…