About what_a_mystery : i like peanut butter
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what_a_mystery's favorite FMLs
by :( / 07/27/2011 at 12:50am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by talwin / 07/27/2011 at 12:05am / Reserved / Money
by anon / 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm / Israel / Miscellaneous
Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML
by slappedright / 07/26/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (California) / Kids
by smokin / 07/26/2011 at 5:22pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by badbride / 07/26/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by frankkathy / 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by crotchshothottie / 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML
by ceetee / 07/26/2011 at 9:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
by Ep1cF4ce / 07/26/2011 at 12:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
by Ima_Moronski / 07/25/2011 at 11:35pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health
by unnamed / 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm / United States (California) / Kids
by j / 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML
by ypsitucky / 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML
by ninja_blasphemer / 07/25/2011 at 3:24pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him.… Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently… Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up…