Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About wellscrewthis : 18. Military brat. I'm just along for the ride.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML
Monday 23 February 2015