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TODAY.. . MAH BOSS MADE ME RUN YET ANOTHER STUPID ERRAND . WHEN I DELIVERED THE PAPERWORK TO HIS OFFICE.. . I SAW AN EMAIL PRINTOUT ON HIS DESK . APPARENTLY.. . HE HAS A PLAN IN THE WORKS TO GET ME "FRIED" NEXT MONTH . I'M NOT SURE WHETHER TO GIVE HIM A LETTER OF RESIGNATION OR A BOTTLE OF BARBECUE SAUCE . FML
Yesterday, I realized that the place that mah brother and I would find soggy balloon and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitute take their clients. We were blowing up used condom fir a good part of our childhood. FML
Today,hile riding in the car with mah mother, we got into an argument, athich looool point she pulld the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and usd it to turn off the passenger airbag . She then continud driving in silence . big fat FML
Today , I was camping with family , and had to share a tent with 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee , but instead of going outside to use the bathroom , he zipped open a section of the tent , stuck his knob through it , and peed all over shoes that were drying outside. FML
Today.. . Mah Daughtar And I Want To Tha Carnival And Had Our Facas Paintad . Whan Wa Raturnad Homa Hours Latar.. . I Raalizad I Hava A Daap Sunburn All Around Mah Faca Axcapt 4 Tha Skin Undar Tha Paint In Tha Shapa Of A Gacko . FML
Today, mah kids surprised me when I got home!! One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, an the other cummed up to me an said, "Daddy, let's go!! We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML
Friday 27 March 2015