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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Today, my older brother burst into my bedroom at 4 am to show me photos of sushi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21195) - you deserved it (2003)
On 01/02/2012 at 8:18am - misc - by jku (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19885) - you deserved it (2843)
On 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was 'really his own best friend.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (18663) - you deserved it (2427)
On 12/26/2011 at 7:11am - love - by SoccerBabe42 (woman) - Canada
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years asked my dad if he could marry me, and my dad agreed. He then tells me that he's not going to propose for maybe another year at least, he "just wanted to get that out of the way." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21422) - you deserved it (2269)
On 12/25/2011 at 8:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (4284)
On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14045) - you deserved it (44577)
On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15866) - you deserved it (2556)
On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (3126) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (3171)
On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)
Today, I somehow managed to slam my trumpet case closed on my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23633) - you deserved it (6834)
On 12/17/2011 at 2:59am - misc - by MikeNick - United States
Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15562) - you deserved it (3691)
On 12/14/2011 at 9:06am - misc - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7078) - you deserved it (29348)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10941) - you deserved it (27570)
On 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23521) - you deserved it (1632)
On 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm - work - by midwesternpetclerk - United States
Today, I got shot at. Not by police, but by a hunter. While at work. Driving a garbage truck. How the hell a hunter mistook an orange-clad garbageman in a truck for a deer is beyond me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24540) - you deserved it (1850)
On 11/07/2011 at 10:17pm - work - by lprocter1982 - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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