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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you deserved it (8429)
On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21994) - you deserved it (2962)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11018) - you deserved it (2315)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by hawaiianlovechild - United States
Today, while at a hotel for vacation with my brother and his wife, I was watching their two-month old daughter in the waterpark when a woman came up to me and said, "Aww your kid is so adorable! Don't worry, you'll get your figure back in no time." I'm a fourteen year old girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (3308)
On 11/28/2009 at 9:14pm - kids - by Shannon (woman) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, a doctor examined my wrist, which is completely swollen and painful. He diagnosed a case of tendonitis and asked me, "Do you use this hand for a particular sort of sport?" I just smiled like a twit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6125) - you deserved it (31420)
On 11/27/2009 at 4:24pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, for the third time this week, my boss made me switch desks. Each new desk is closer to the door than the last one. I think he's trying to tell me something. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (1613)
On 11/27/2009 at 2:51pm - work - by Fmyoffice (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16516) - you deserved it (2467)
On 11/27/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by fml...really (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4485) - you deserved it (56745)
On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I spent the entire day at the hospital and was sent home attached to an obnoxious and somewhat painful heart monitor. I felt fine and decided to go to a bonfire with a few friends. I thought everyone was being nice until I overheard the guys referring to me as an unattractive xbox. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19055) - you deserved it (1877)
On 11/26/2009 at 9:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was at work, working on a new play. In the final dress rehearsal, I heard some of the crew laughing so I looked down at the very revealing costume to see that my left testicle was hanging out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23687) - you deserved it (5310)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:45am - work - by youshitme (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was watching my 7 year old daughter and her friend jump on our trampoline. I was really impressed by all the flips they were doing, and I told her "Hey! I can't even do that." To that her friend replied " Of course you can't. You're fat!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24101) - you deserved it (5666)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:43am - kids - by madeyoulaugh (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend of almost a year, and to whom I intended to propose on Thanksgiving, dumped me because her husband will be returning from Iraq soon. And he wants to have a "talk" with me. I didn't know she was married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (2319)
On 11/25/2009 at 8:56am - love - by blasted (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I realized that when the pest control man said that we may see a few more bugs in the next few days, what he meant was "your kitchen will be covered in them." It's the day before Thanksgiving and I have several people invited over for the Holiday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17983) - you deserved it (1624)
On 11/25/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by buggedout (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (4397)
On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18830) - you deserved it (9640)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)
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