Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wdfcrystal

Search for a member

wdfcrystal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1567
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wdfcrystal : Hi hi hi hey hey hi hi hi hi hey hi hey hi hi hey hello

Ok goodbye. 

wdfcrystal's page activity

Visits<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/30/2012 at 12:50pm

wdfcrystal's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of wdfcrystal's badges

wdfcrystal's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

#17804951
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27247) - you deserved it (4493)

On 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by failure (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

#17761753
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38273) - you deserved it (4594)

On 09/17/2011 at 12:39am - misc - by thedeerman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

#17758843
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (2172)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37728) - you deserved it (4758)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31839) - you deserved it (3812)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

#17634820
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34736) - you deserved it (2616)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by WhatTheFaf (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30848) - you deserved it (3373)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

#17545368
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21215) - you deserved it (2937)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:44am - misc - by No Action Fighter - United States (California)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28660) - you deserved it (37673)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, I'm sitting in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML

#17522944
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27151) - you deserved it (3671)

On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML

#17367681
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11132) - you deserved it (21674)

On 08/04/2011 at 2:47pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I got an anonymous letter, stating my condo's community and all my neighbors can hear me having sex. Not only that, but kids gather around my window to listen. FML

#17354061
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15758) - you deserved it (32724)

On 08/03/2011 at 10:33am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I was presented with a bill for $27,601 by my single, alcoholic, deadbeat father. Why? "For having to raise your goddamn lazy ass." FML

#17350517
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33675) - you deserved it (2630)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:45am - money - by bigbill - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10000) - you deserved it (71428)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33585) - you deserved it (3653)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: