Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wdfcrystal

Search for a member

wdfcrystal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1573
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wdfcrystal : Hi hi hi hey hey hi hi hi hi hey hi hey hi hi hey hello

Ok goodbye. 

wdfcrystal's page activity

Visits<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 07/30/2012 at 12:50pm

wdfcrystal's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of wdfcrystal's badges

wdfcrystal's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (6631)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (3281)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

#18244771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23400) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

#18207765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22066) - you deserved it (5540)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML

#18127858
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11978) - you deserved it (55975)

On 11/01/2011 at 9:22am - health - by loves the smell of burning flesh - United States (California)

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

#18088361
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (2346)

On 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm - work - by last literate - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

#18022495
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51862) - you deserved it (16561)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32122) - you deserved it (6338)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML

#17945907
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8692) - you deserved it (29921)

On 10/09/2011 at 7:28pm - love - by Slayer - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with posted pics of them kissing on Facebook, and tagged me in them. FML

#17934010
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57912) - you deserved it (3698)

On 10/08/2011 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML

#17932386
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12733) - you deserved it (39682)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:49am - work - by Laura - United States

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (3245)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

#17896857
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16609) - you deserved it (30049)

On 10/03/2011 at 4:49pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you deserved it (9217)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: