Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wdfcrystal

Search for a member

wdfcrystal
  • Town/Country : Atlantis, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 18 May 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1103
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wdfcrystal : Hi hi hi hey hey hi hi hi hi hey hi hey hi hi hey hello

Ok goodbye. 

wdfcrystal's last visitors

RedPillSucks

wdfcrystal's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of wdfcrystal's badges

wdfcrystal's favorite FMLs

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218681) - you deserved it (28161)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87108) - you deserved it (4401)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239769) - you deserved it (56624)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue"... He told me "Yeah sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away I read his note: "911". FML

#125152
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16198) - you deserved it (43044)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML

#102493
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (5236)

On 02/22/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by highlycontagious - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked out of the bathroom when two guys were checking me out and said "nice tail" I smiled and strutted to my next class. When I was about to sit down in my desk, the girl behind me said "did you know you have toilet paper hanging out of your pants?" FML

#79347
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14603) - you deserved it (30139)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by Christen (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

#16441
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (7567)

On 02/09/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by oops (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend out of the blue told me I wasn't fat, that my stomach was flat and it was only my butt that was big. I thought that this was a compliment. His response? "Not at all". FML

#5886
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21816) - you deserved it (2201)

On 02/03/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Noname - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother called to say that my 11 year old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassles, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

#5874
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9128) - you deserved it (25246)

On 02/03/2009 at 1:51am - kids - by peneloperigby (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46642) - you deserved it (6387)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

#2727
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22456) - you deserved it (2218)

On 01/26/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by glittercat - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (35643)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

#687
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20019) - you deserved it (1323)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: