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Today, I finally mustered the courage to tell my crush how I feel. He's a straight-A student and very nice in general. After I finished pouring my heart out, he stared at me for a bit and then said: "Nice rack." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (8870)
On 05/10/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Dana (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43331) - you deserved it (5134)
On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -
Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45166) - you deserved it (3521) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)
Today, as I was about to go in the bathroom, a girl walked out, shaking water off her hands. Some of it landed on my face, and I just wiped it off. Then she said to her friend who was waiting for her, "The sink's broken. Can I use your hand sanitizer?" So what landed on my face? FML
I agree, your life sucks (31193) - you deserved it (2063)
On 03/05/2011 at 5:15am - misc - by anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you deserved it (2537)
On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40034) - you deserved it (7605)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26735) - you deserved it (4402)
On 01/28/2011 at 4:12am - love - by ashdk -
Today, I went to the grocery store with my mom's boyfriend. We were in the bread aisle when he picked up a loaf that was in my hand, and said, "No, no, you have to FEEL the bread," and started rubbing it all over his body. He's moving in next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23205) - you deserved it (2297)
On 01/15/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34366) - you deserved it (6992)
On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11066) - you deserved it (20122)
On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (1938)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the woman I'm currently dating used to be a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48935) - you deserved it (8394)
On 12/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by swindstorm -
Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10532) - you deserved it (23679)
On 11/27/2010 at 7:36am - misc - by Flaps - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25972) - you deserved it (9532)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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