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wayham22's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
by holdengurl18 / 06/21/2011 at 12:46am / China / Love
by princev / 06/18/2011 at 6:32am / United States / Health
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
by stepmom / 06/18/2011 at 5:40am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by Hank Gummyworm / 06/16/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Michigan) / Work
by MegaBear / 06/15/2011 at 1:46am / United States / Work
Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML
by Anonyme / 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend and I were driving to a costume party. On the way, we got into an argument and she kicked me out of her car. I had to walk around the city center in an Iron Man outfit trying to find the party venue. FML
by 2ndplacechamp / 06/01/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by valerie / 05/27/2011 at 9:04pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I went out with my best friend and her hot brother. Upon our exit out of the restaurant I walked right into the glass door and rebounded back off it. The whole restaurant was silent as I shamefully walked out only to trip on the curb outside. FML
by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 10:18am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by Charlie / 05/04/2011 at 11:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by nothanks / 05/01/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by nerdsgetmehot / 04/07/2011 at 12:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Health
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
by Anonymous / 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…