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wayham22's FML badges
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wayham22's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML
by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 8:01am / United States / Intimacy
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML
by ugly? / 09/20/2011 at 4:08am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Cantgetno / 09/20/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by PookaKay02 / 09/20/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Scott / 09/15/2011 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Health
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML
by Sammylad / 09/07/2011 at 6:14pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work
by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals
by Alexis / 08/26/2011 at 7:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I went for an operation. Only to walk out with my gallbladder still there and the news I am… Today, I visited my parents with my four year old. My son started to excitedly tell his grandmother… Today, My two Co-Workers and I realized that we have been working for the same company for years as…