Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

watchme

Search for a member

watchme

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2422
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About watchme : Hi I'm Cate :)

watchme's page activity

Visits<b>MaryJo96</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:44pm<b>runnerj116</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:10pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:48pm<b>Carlosdiaz321</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:46am<b>AGB10</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:07am<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 9:47pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:34pm<b>EpilepticAsian</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 9:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 12:38pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 11:30pm<b>jeep011</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:19am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:16am<b>LaxBro19</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:47pm<b>jerrymean</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:33pm<b>themagicalkitten</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:19pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 4:29am<b>babygirlleah</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 11:52pm

watchme's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of watchme's badges

watchme's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML

#20772281
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51452) - you deserved it (20741)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that I'd been wrong to constantly accuse next door's cat of peeing on my car every night. It was actually my 16-year-old son. FML

#20772121
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46556) - you deserved it (6487)

On 07/09/2013 at 9:35am - kids - by thecathater (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42604) - you deserved it (5739)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52955) - you deserved it (4365)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she felt that her puppy was lonely while we dated. FML

#20771661
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48405) - you deserved it (4579)

On 07/09/2013 at 12:38am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

#20771326
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43588) - you deserved it (4888)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by the hated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35856) - you deserved it (4543)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got mauled by some wild animals and had to get my butt cheek stitched up. The embarrassment doesn't end there though; the animals in question were kittens. The nurses on duty laughed and the entire ward found out. FML

#20770807
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42070) - you deserved it (6360)

On 07/08/2013 at 4:00pm - animals - by richardmrcs (man) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping, when for the first time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's now in hospital. FML

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (65789)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

#20770510
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56294) - you deserved it (6509)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm - intimacy - by realitybites (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML

#20769263
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38933) - you deserved it (3058)

On 07/07/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by malicious_melons - United States (California)

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

#20769088
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52330) - you deserved it (9084)

On 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm - kids - by nosestealer (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53176) - you deserved it (5579)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was going to fight the guy who my girlfriend left me for. While waiting at the park, he sent me a video of the two of them having sex on my bed. FML

#20768398
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65584) - you deserved it (21310)

On 07/07/2013 at 8:35am - love - by SimG (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42580) - you deserved it (4396)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: