Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

watchme

Search for a member

watchme

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5681
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About watchme : Hi I'm Cate :)

watchme's page activity

Visits<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:57pm<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:10pm<b>MaryJo96</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:44pm<b>runnerj116</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:10pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:48pm<b>Carlosdiaz321</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:46am<b>AGB10</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:07am<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 9:47pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:34pm<b>EpilepticAsian</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 9:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 12:38pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 11:30pm<b>jeep011</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:19am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:16am<b>LaxBro19</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:47pm<b>jerrymean</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:33pm<b>themagicalkitten</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:19pm

watchme's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of watchme's badges

watchme's favorite FMLs

Today, while picking up a birthday cake, I was screamed at by an upset woman for getting special attention from the bakers, and that I was nothing more than an attention-hogging slut. The bakers are my co-workers and I was picking my cake up on my day off. FML

#20201761
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (1600)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML

#20197219
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28062) - you deserved it (2854)

On 12/09/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML

#20195319
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25098) - you deserved it (1800)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by WPA2 OR DEATH (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, as part of my job as a swimming instructor, I had to help a teenage boy learn how to float. This involves supporting the person's back as they try to float. His boner stood straight up. FML

#20185787
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39600) - you deserved it (3702)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by julia (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26762) - you deserved it (3193)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22737) - you deserved it (1512)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (1700)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML

#20173702
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28188) - you deserved it (5918)

On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7988) - you deserved it (20640)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the age of 29, I now have a relationship on par with a teenager's. Several weeks ago, my fiancé and I lost our home, and are now back living with our respective families. We now have no privacy. I actually just got dropped off at home, before 10, after having sex in a hay field. FML

#20168945
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34213) - you deserved it (4686)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (10404)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (2051)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21526) - you deserved it (4562)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, my friend showed me a video of me in a nightclub. I was holding two Skittles vodka shots and shouting, "Red and green, merry Kwanzaa!" The shots were yellow and purple. I can't remember that night at all. FML



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: