Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

watchme

Search for a member

watchme
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1841
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About watchme : Hi I'm Cate :)

watchme's last visitors

MaryJo96ZombieGuyCXVAGB10neeni88haylburgSoninuvagary3768jeep011

watchme's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of watchme's badges

watchme's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (2213)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

#20449927
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9597) - you deserved it (20840)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47713) - you deserved it (4600)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28093) - you deserved it (1782)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (2159)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21743) - you deserved it (60016)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML

#20447961
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42542) - you deserved it (2180)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm - work - by whateven (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (4214)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (2840)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15910) - you deserved it (44566)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9709) - you deserved it (30084)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

#20446490
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9709) - you deserved it (30084)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by james88 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28524) - you deserved it (6174)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21472) - you deserved it (1762)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: