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watchme

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8771
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About watchme : Hi I'm Cate :)

watchme's page activity

Visits<b>Spiral061</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 8:55am<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 2:57pm<b>FlabbberGasted</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:10pm<b>MaryJo96</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:44pm<b>runnerj116</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:10pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:48pm<b>Carlosdiaz321</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:46am<b>AGB10</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:07am<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 9:47pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:34pm<b>EpilepticAsian</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 9:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 12:38pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 11:30pm<b>jeep011</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:19am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:16am<b>LaxBro19</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:47pm<b>jerrymean</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:33pm

watchme's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of watchme's badges

watchme's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

by leeceetaylor99 / 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

by lilly1105 / 07/15/2013 at 9:19am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to turn down an invitation to one of my best friend's birthday party because I had been scheduled to work. Little did I know that my job on that day would be setting up the tents, tables, and chairs for that very birthday party. FML

by Sam / 07/15/2013 at 1:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

by scheisse / 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML

by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

by Blizzards / 07/14/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

by Anna / 07/13/2013 at 12:40am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML

by So little trust. / 07/12/2013 at 7:18pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

by ElodieUNU / 07/12/2013 at 3:33pm / France / Love

Today, I woke up with horrible pain in my gut. It got worse and worse, and I started vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was flu and that I needed to "man up." It turned out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from my hospital bed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Health