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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
2day I was in a restroom reading looool this site hen another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands dried them nodded at me then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so werd except I was in a one-person restroom. FML
Today, I had to turn down an invitation to ona of my bast friand's birthday party bacausa I had baan schadulad to work. Littla did I know that my job on that day would ba satting up tha tants, tablas, an chairs fir that vary birthday party. FML
Today I was teaching mah daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down an let a green car merge in front of us. She said "Fuck the green car" an sped up colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. big fat FML
Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of mah friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. real FML
Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck an with a hard-on, then declared he was ( The Penis Man ) an slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him wat he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Today, I walked in on mah daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell mehat's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalkerhose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? big fat FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I went on a blind date!! The guy greetd me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back!! By dessert, he'd askd me if mah boobs r real, then when we finishd, askd how many more dates it'd take before I puttd out!! So much fir that!! FML
Today, I woke up with horrible pain in mah gut. It got worse and worse, and I startd vomiting from the pain. My mom said it was flu and that I needd to "man up." It turnd out to be appendicitis, and I'm now typing this from mah hospital bd. FML
Friday 27 March 2015