About watchme : Hi I'm Cate :)
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29502) - you deserved it (44539)
On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40402) - you deserved it (11602)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I spent my last day at the hospital for a long epilepsy test. Apparently, I don't have epilepsy at all, but I do have extreme stress. This means that I've been taking several anti-seizure medications that ruined my college plans and made me sick for half a year, all for nothing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43587) - you deserved it (3477)
On 06/09/2013 at 11:40am - health - by HollyJollyXmas (woman) - United States
Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me and said, "Honey, you're your own birth control." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50894) - you deserved it (8936)
On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by jack - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44188) - you deserved it (3577)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by nicholascageonyourface (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my wife decided to check her email, while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46293) - you deserved it (8914)
On 06/09/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45503) - you deserved it (3140)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States
Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38442) - you deserved it (7338)
On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47150) - you deserved it (9632)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47114) - you deserved it (3188)
On 06/08/2013 at 2:38am - intimacy - by kalleylynn - United States (Illinois)
Today, I drove 2 hours to my sister's wedding, only to find out my invitation was sent to me by mistake. She had me kicked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49887) - you deserved it (3737)
On 06/07/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by hopeyoushityourintestinesout (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks (50762) - you deserved it (6925)
On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)
Today, I went into labor a week earlier than expected. My husband is four hours away on business, and my sister refused to take me unless I paid her $1,000. I had to call 911 and almost gave birth in the kitchen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59391) - you deserved it (2769)
On 06/07/2013 at 5:09am - misc - by shesabitch - United States (California)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41172) - you deserved it (51069)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41974) - you deserved it (2288)
On 06/07/2013 at 1:48am - animals - by anew27 - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
