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watchme

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3145
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About watchme : Hi I'm Cate :)

watchme's page activity

Visits<b>MaryJo96</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:44pm<b>runnerj116</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 11:10pm<b>shorty6823</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 10:39pm<b>ZombieGuyCXV</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 2:48pm<b>Carlosdiaz321</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:46am<b>AGB10</b> - the 07/21/2013 at 3:07am<b>neeni88</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 9:47pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:34pm<b>EpilepticAsian</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 9:42am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 12:38pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 11:30pm<b>jeep011</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:19am<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 3:16am<b>LaxBro19</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:47pm<b>jerrymean</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:33pm<b>themagicalkitten</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 10:19pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 4:29am<b>babygirlleah</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 11:52pm

watchme's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of watchme's badges

watchme's favorite FMLs

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27281) - you deserved it (53946)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49066) - you deserved it (3485)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (5391)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while filling out paperwork at the dermatologist, it asked what color I would use to describe my skin tone. When the nurse saw I chose fair, she mumbled "Ghost is more like it." I have a severe sun allergy. FML

#20795568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46284) - you deserved it (3791)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

#20795078
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41688) - you deserved it (9021)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by accountnamevalid (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, a man stopped me on the street. He said the stretch marks on my thighs looked like cuts, and asked me if I self-harmed. Before I was able to politely respond "No", he said, "I mean, I can see why you would." FML

#20794407
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45663) - you deserved it (3535)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend set up a profile for me on an adult dating site as a surprise. It was a surprise alright. The picture he set as my avatar was one of me stark naked, which I sent to my ex shortly before he dumped me. FML

#20794134
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (8748)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:43pm - misc - by .............. (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54776) - you deserved it (6340)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I came home from work to my hot roommate cooking and wearing nothing but an apron. She pulled me into her room and things went great. At least, they did before I woke up in the break room with my coworkers and boss all gathered around, listening to me talking in my sleep. FML

#20793742
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52622) - you deserved it (8970)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:35am - work - by Dirty_Mind_69 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

#20793573
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40326) - you deserved it (9786)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

#20792771
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36456) - you deserved it (32846)

On 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by libraries are a girl's best friend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

#20792695
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52091) - you deserved it (4357)

On 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50160) - you deserved it (3695)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML

#20792281
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41201) - you deserved it (3821)

On 07/19/2013 at 12:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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