Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 03/23/2015 at 7:23pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 17 September 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 708
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About wastedpenguin : Kik:xiaoxaio

wastedpenguin's page activity

Visits<b>Bree06</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 8:39pm<b>fml131412</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Scheffy213</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 8:02pm<b>Cloco98</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 6:50pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:59pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:06pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:26pm<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 10:49pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:37pm<b>natassjaesq</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:40pm<b>arasx0</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 5:09am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:55pm<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 7:48pm<b>SiRiSpartan</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:29am<b>BananaSantos</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 11:57pm<b>insanecutie</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 5:11pm<b>MlleCerise</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:58am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 6:16pm

Liked!<b>WeChaseClouds</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:48am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:17am<b>MlleCerise</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 7:45pm<b>my_horrible_life</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 4:18pm<b>mayleennyc</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 1:26am<b>nikkih_06</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 2:45am<b>jen1097</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 4:46am<b>xsydneyx123</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 8:15am<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 11:21pm<b>Dylanlev05</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 5:06am<b>x3jmac27</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 8:42pm<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 11:42pm<b>Bree06</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:53am<b>natassjaesq</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 9:26am<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:04am<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 6:53pm<b>WillowB47</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:16am

wastedpenguin's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.


You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.


You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of wastedpenguin's badges

wastedpenguin's favorite FMLs

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (2704)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36099) - you deserved it (3862)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:34am - animals - by Baustigt - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (4864)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom found out that I've been having counselling behind her back for the past 4 years. I broke down in tears explaining everything. Her response was, "So you go and bitch about me behind my back?!" And she wonders why I'm depressed. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49574) - you deserved it (5265)

On 06/14/2014 at 6:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to work in my best outfit for the big corporate party we were having later in the day. When I arrived, my boss said, "You missed one hell of a party yesterday!" Shit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38130) - you deserved it (9668)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:20pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49028) - you deserved it (4986)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44219) - you deserved it (3671)

On 06/04/2014 at 10:34am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43488) - you deserved it (4915)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, after living in my apartment for nearly a year, I heard my neighbor having a violent toilet session. Now I realize he's always been able to hear the wrath of my bowels too. We wave at each other every day. FML

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40527) - you deserved it (3123)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56012) - you deserved it (12510)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: