Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

wardie

Search for a member

wardie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 510
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

wardie's page activity

Visits<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 3:45am<b>iSonia</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 11:57pm<b>hahatofunny</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 4:59pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 12:32am<b>kylefry6996</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 1:12am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 10:43am<b>maayers</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 4:01am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:55pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 8:10pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 9:47pm<b>utrax</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 7:17pm<b>Randy84</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 10:41am<b>Nilan</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 4:50pm<b>Juniorhap</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:58am<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 8:42pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 8:40pm<b>virgilcole505</b> - the 10/10/2013 at 1:16am<b>DocBastard</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 7:06am

wardie's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of wardie's badges

wardie's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

#21022453
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57287) - you deserved it (6942)

On 01/09/2014 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59279) - you deserved it (25743)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41425) - you deserved it (33604)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53026) - you deserved it (7907)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39003) - you deserved it (4381)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

#20981618
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35304) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/05/2013 at 12:41pm - health - by mooselord (man) - United States

Today, I saw my friend's car in front of school. I'd had a bad day and just wanted to talk with her. I got in and sat down, and felt something squish beneath me. Turns out it wasn't actually my friend's car, and I'd just sat on a random woman's cake. FML

#20978310
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35423) - you deserved it (24828)

On 12/02/2013 at 3:04pm - misc - by Sherressa (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18634) - you deserved it (48993)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41659) - you deserved it (2663)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

#20958238
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37043) - you deserved it (2761)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:00am - misc - by Eggs (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37155) - you deserved it (3282)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36316) - you deserved it (12268)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35522) - you deserved it (10574)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: