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wardie

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wardie
  • Town/Country : UK
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 7 August 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 116
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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wardie's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42345) - you deserved it (3942)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40208) - you deserved it (7904)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

#20526083
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (9170)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by useless pos (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (5379)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (4595)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25583) - you deserved it (1537)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20136682
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14701) - you deserved it (2191)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML

#20136351
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (1618)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:22am - love - by prettylady? - United States

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20471) - you deserved it (4602)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12778) - you deserved it (21329)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23517) - you deserved it (3636)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19911) - you deserved it (15044)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (10129)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, my brother got a pet ferret. He told me it had a flexible spine, so I bent it backwards. It farted, and clawed my face. FML

#16908147
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8095) - you deserved it (58166)

On 06/29/2011 at 10:55am - misc - by ashleyrae (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38409) - you deserved it (3263)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)



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