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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (9287)
On 05/30/2009 at 10:46am - misc - by peopleinthepark (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14830) - you deserved it (69788)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a concert. They had this feature where you could send a picture of something from your cell phone and they'd put it on the big screens, so I sent a picture of myself in. When the picture came up on the screens, the entire crowd of about 4,000 people went, "Ewwww!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (62255) - you deserved it (20225)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66171) - you deserved it (179674)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106730) - you deserved it (9348)
On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (81334)
On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461801) - you deserved it (573676)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47133) - you deserved it (11845)
On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my teacher confiscated my cell phone for text messaging. He said he would give it back if the next text that I would receive was important. I prayed the guy I've been texting didn't send the dick pic he said he was going to. He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23604) - you deserved it (85948)
On 02/28/2009 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by textfail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18324) - you deserved it (5563)
On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version
Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22276) - you deserved it (10174)
On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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