About walkingspastic : I am a self-described animal person with 7 furchildren, graduate from my university in May, and work like allll the time as an assistant restaurant manager. :)
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walkingspastic's favorite FMLs
by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by zzdug / 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy
Today, I went through the Taco Bell drive through. The lady at the window handed me my food and receipt. In a moment of insanity, I threw the receipt at the cashier and yelled "WOOHOO." I attempted to burn rubber and get the hell out of dodge, only to remember my car was in park. FML
by TacoFail / 01/01/2010 at 11:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
by sad_dad / 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was at a party with my boyfriend. There were some tents set up out the back so we decided to go in one. When we came out we got weird looks. It turns out my friend had turned on some lights behind the tent, showing a huge silhouette of me giving head. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2009 at 10:25am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by chasingcars0624 / 08/28/2009 at 7:44pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
by gbhlaughingstock / 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
by blank13 / 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
by unbelievable208 / 08/05/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
by picturemenakedbaby / 07/21/2009 at 6:42am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I had my first kiss standing in front of my front door. It was really cute, the way you normally think about first kisses. When I got inside, I realized my mom had been watching out her second story bedroom window taking pictures. She put them on Facebook captioned 'My baby's first kiss!' FML
by steven / 06/28/2009 at 11:53am / Cayman Islands / Miscellaneous