walkingspastic

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Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 3:28pm)

walkingspastic

12Fucked!

walkingspasticwalkingspastic
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 1 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1512
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About walkingspastic : I am a self-described animal person with 7 furchildren, graduate from my university in May, and work like allll the time as an assistant restaurant manager. :)

walkingspastic's page activity

Visits<b>ELNiN0</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 7:32am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 6:42pm<b>heroqucas</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 5:26am<b>Noelletakumi</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:17am<b>Bravewolf</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:34am<b>maybellina</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 7:55am<b>Erto</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:27pm<b>EnigmaticSoul</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 2:45am<b>yogibear208</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 1:40pm<b>HeidiZiggler</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 10:18pm<b>bomzo</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:10am<b>hullarms</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:42pm<b>connaughty0225</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:56am<b>Matheo</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 2:04am<b>karacakal2</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Mortoli</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 3:14am<b>baka4815</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 5:43am<b>EnJey0</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:50pm

Fucked!<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:18am<b>dvd1790</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 6:32am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:36am<b>Mornai</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 11:57pm<b>Matheo</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:08pm<b>patts_</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 8:52pm<b>seemo82</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 7:33pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:54pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 9:01pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:57pm<b>joshtapp</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 7:37am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 8:52pm

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walkingspastic's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML

by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

by SkeetinKeaton / 05/06/2013 at 2:29am / United States / Kids

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

by catlover / 12/13/2012 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

by nekkidness / 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents were coming to visit me at my brand new apartment. I made dinner and served them the cake my roomate had left for me in the fridge. Thirty minutes after they left, I was so baked that I couldn't think straight. I still don't know if my parents made it home. FML

by Cookie / 12/22/2011 at 1:11pm / South Africa / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

by Anonymous / 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

by katt_is_here / 10/02/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Colorado) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 09/14/2011 at 12:34pm / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML

by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

by stupiddrunk / 02/28/2011 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

by AmICrappyEveryOtherDay / 09/02/2010 at 7:51pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while attempting a DIY pest removal, one of our tenants lit a skunk on fire. FML

by Al / 03/09/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous