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walkingdeadlover

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walkingdeadlover

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  • Number of visits : 57
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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walkingdeadlover's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

#19058382
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8274) - you deserved it (25040)

On 02/12/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck teh poleese (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I hosted a "Night Out Against Crime" party at our local park. Only three people came, they robbed our fundraiser booth. FML

#18839775
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24865) - you deserved it (4579)

On 01/17/2012 at 10:31pm - money - by no money anymore - United States

Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML

#18825531
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28121) - you deserved it (2831)

On 01/16/2012 at 3:18pm - misc - by Lea (woman) - Denmark (Sjelland)

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

#18722642
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (5584)

On 01/06/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by plantfood - United States

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37284) - you deserved it (4933) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML

#18569978
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (4920)

On 12/21/2011 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I caught my mother attempting to write a $1400 cheque. To whom? The proprietor of a "Christian charity fund" with whom she had been having Internet conversations. The proprietor's name, and that on the cheque, was "Herp McDerpington". FML

#18540980
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/18/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by scammed - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

#15947062
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12813) - you deserved it (38704)

On 04/27/2011 at 9:35am - kids - by BadgerSpirit (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

#15929536
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29441) - you deserved it (15418)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:45am - misc - by magicman - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49817) - you deserved it (8077)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26086) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

#14157064
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12476) - you deserved it (25296)

On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, my husband ran at me, groaning like a zombie. I was so startled that I screamed, punched him, and started sobbing. Now he won't talk to me because this is 'the first step on the road of domestic violence'. FML

#14142147
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (10427)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by katy (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (5862)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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