About wachunga : I like super heroes, they probably don't like me.
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Today, my twelve year-old son thought it would be a good idea to relentlessly shoot the mail truck with a paintball gun in front of all the neighbors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25339) - you deserved it (8091)
On 04/05/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by NYmets456 - United States (New York)
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14737) - you deserved it (6464)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25273) - you deserved it (1984)
On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I took my puppy for a walk around town. I had to stop and explain to several people that yes, his head was purple because my little sister wanted to make him look like a Na'vi from Avatar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12285) - you deserved it (1392)
On 08/26/2012 at 12:18am - misc - by AmyLeigh - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10534) - you deserved it (32390)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16399) - you deserved it (1496)
On 08/09/2012 at 2:44am - intimacy - by rxcrs3 - United States
Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17040) - you deserved it (2428)
On 08/05/2012 at 1:23am - health - by wut (woman) - United States
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10441) - you deserved it (22958)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (14948)
On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (146638)
On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom was helping me clean out stuff from college. She opened a box and took out some anal beads I got as a gag gift. She asked, "What are these?" I answered, "They are for massaging your back". She then insisted I show her. I massaged my mother with anal beads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (55174)
On 03/13/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by DanniRae (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (5595)
On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (18376)
On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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