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wBlitz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 4 October 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1349
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Visits<b>lostfaithinpppl</b> - the 10/30/2012 at 9:44pm<b>Mifflicious</b> - the 10/30/2012 at 5:29pm<b>kiwienne</b> - the 10/30/2012 at 5:22pm

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wBlitz's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a email from my boss. He said he was going to have to let me go for missing so much work over the last week. I was laid off two months ago. I don't know what is more depressing, getting fired from a job twice or the fact it took two months for them to notice I wasn't there anymore. FML

#1189537
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65081) - you deserved it (3344)

On 04/21/2009 at 11:11am - work - by laxguy23 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (242118) - you deserved it (30304)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70239) - you deserved it (11995)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU'RE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence. FML

#869850
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39721) - you deserved it (94627)

On 04/08/2009 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by blizzard_of_77 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97165) - you deserved it (29109)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
955 comments

I agree, your life sucks (384970) - you deserved it (44259)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76677) - you deserved it (20156)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML

#784043
481 comments

I agree, your life sucks (447070) - you deserved it (74319)

On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909
386 comments

I agree, your life sucks (217246) - you deserved it (34659)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37277) - you deserved it (131730)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105620) - you deserved it (31970)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91070) - you deserved it (33948)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
533 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267233) - you deserved it (35526)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)



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