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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27885) - you deserved it (4181)
On 02/10/2010 at 2:29am - love - by LoveStruck- - United States
Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9297) - you deserved it (16963)
On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6624) - you deserved it (24017)
On 02/09/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by fbcaught (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I found out why my five year old has been throwing tantrums while shopping. It turns out my ex-husband has been paying her three dollars for every public tantrum she throws. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27373) - you deserved it (2412)
On 02/09/2010 at 12:53pm - kids - by inthedark (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24778) - you deserved it (2251)
On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20227) - you deserved it (5848)
On 02/04/2010 at 3:29am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88783) - you deserved it (9150)
On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (35615)
On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6003) - you deserved it (27156)
On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (5762)
On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24495) - you deserved it (3669)
On 01/24/2010 at 2:32pm - love - by firstdate (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19248) - you deserved it (3373)
On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, at work I was ringing up some tampons for a woman, and I try to interact with the shoppers as much as possible. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say but drew a blank, so I decided just to say "have a nice night." What I actually said was "have a nice flow". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7192) - you deserved it (24591)
On 01/22/2010 at 1:26am - work - by iluvjenknee (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had a wrestling match. Someone put Viagra in my waterbottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39724) - you deserved it (3058)
On 01/22/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by wrestler133 - Sent from mobile version
Today, a man I don't know came up to me and started screaming about how "all you damn Mexicans were stealing American's jobs" and he stormed off. I'm Native American, and I'm pretty sure we've been here longer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43225) - you deserved it (3473)
On 01/21/2010 at 7:45pm - misc - by hardtotell (woman) - United States (Utah)
Monday 17 June 2013
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