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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13415) - you deserved it (4164)
Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43239) - you deserved it (5980)
On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23112) - you deserved it (5881)
On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14459) - you deserved it (6639)
On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version
Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (5611)
On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version
Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10137) - you deserved it (51306)
On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)
Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (2215)
On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version
Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15772) - you deserved it (3955)
On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version
Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14912) - you deserved it (7437)
On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18368) - you deserved it (2333)
On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15309) - you deserved it (5755)
On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18387) - you deserved it (5567)
On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8107) - you deserved it (44773)
On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version
Today, on the bus, a young high school boy sat down next to me and started to chat me up. I thought it was cute until he asked me which high school I was attending. I'm 27, I'm married, I have a child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (3919)
On 12/09/2008 at 11:58pm - kids - by Rita - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17538) - you deserved it (2773)
On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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