Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

vvtumblesbee

Search for a member

vvtumblesbee

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 April 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 21064
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

vvtumblesbee's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - 15 hours ago<b>NineInchSacks</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 11:23pm<b>BaconForAll</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 6:01pm<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:32pm<b>PageantGirlXOXO</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:40pm<b>rexgober</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 8:49am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 1:34pm<b>l0lmadis0n</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 4:02pm<b>joefrazier</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 11:07pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:37pm<b>Marley_000</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 1:34am<b>CandyPewPewPew</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 12:45pm<b>FatherofTime87</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:44am<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:28pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 2:47pm<b>MichelleGrace21</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Iheartk31</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:22am

vvtumblesbee's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

vvtumblesbee's favorite FMLs

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18973) - you deserved it (2271)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20041) - you deserved it (5040)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (8803)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21981) - you deserved it (2707)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19208) - you deserved it (6711)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22344) - you deserved it (7291)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8401) - you deserved it (46378)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, on the bus, a young high school boy sat down next to me and started to chat me up. I thought it was cute until he asked me which high school I was attending. I'm 27, I'm married, I have a child. FML

#483
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20835) - you deserved it (4917)

On 12/09/2008 at 11:58pm - kids - by Rita - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (3090)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you deserved it (52636)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41342) - you deserved it (22626)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23091) - you deserved it (10429)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21944) - you deserved it (21134)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

#298
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26241) - you deserved it (15070)

On 11/13/2008 at 6:39am - kids - by pinpin - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a never-ending dinner with really boring friends, I faked being tired and told my husband, "Let’s go honey, we have a long way to drive home." He looks at me and says, "Well… we are at home." FML

#238
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14278) - you deserved it (61713)

On 11/07/2008 at 12:47am - misc - by alice5000 - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: