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vvtumblesbee

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vvtumblesbee
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 April 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 20687
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vvtumblesbee's favorite FMLs

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12566) - you deserved it (65842)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

#718
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18739) - you deserved it (2257)

On 01/06/2009 at 6:58am - love - by musamalia - Sent from mobile version

Today, feeling romantic and overwhelmed with love, I told my fiancée: "I don't know what I'd do without you." She replied: "Well, you'd wank". FML

#591
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19812) - you deserved it (5019)

On 12/25/2008 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Nicos - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML

#590
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15475) - you deserved it (7577)

On 12/24/2008 at 8:54pm - love - by Marou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he went up the stairs, "It stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the bin. We can eat sandwiches. FML

#577
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/23/2008 at 1:47am - misc - by zazadudu - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18982) - you deserved it (6663)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was telling off one of my friends, a fellow student of medicine, who was spending his evenings watching "House" instead of revising for our important exam, as I was. The topic mentioned in the episode came up in the exam. He got 4 points more than I did. FML

#532
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22117) - you deserved it (7257)

On 12/17/2008 at 4:40am - love - by Gen - Sent from mobile version

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8331) - you deserved it (45948)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, on the bus, a young high school boy sat down next to me and started to chat me up. I thought it was cute until he asked me which high school I was attending. I'm 27, I'm married, I have a child. FML

#483
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20592) - you deserved it (4895)

On 12/09/2008 at 11:58pm - kids - by Rita - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend was lying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passionate eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me he loved me. But instead he said "You have a bogey". FML

#459
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (3072)

On 12/06/2008 at 7:14am - love - by Sybille - Sent from mobile version

Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML

#447
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7769) - you deserved it (50654)

On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41062) - you deserved it (22513)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML

#349
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (10376)

On 11/20/2008 at 7:55am - love - by batgirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the arse. FML

#325
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (20258)

On 11/18/2008 at 1:42am - animals - by AgathedeBlouse - Sent from mobile version

Today, I helped my son do his maths homework. He got a C and won’t talk to me anymore. FML

#298
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (14997)

On 11/13/2008 at 6:39am - kids - by pinpin - Sent from mobile version



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