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vvtumblesbee

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vvtumblesbee
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 April 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 20727
  • Number of comments : 60
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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vvtumblesbee's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3597) - you deserved it (31288)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML

#2293
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13998) - you deserved it (6351)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:04am - love - by sadass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51502) - you deserved it (6998)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I broke the glass of the photocopier trying to photocopy my ass. My boss will be here in five hours. She'll know it was me. I'm the only night guardian. FML

#1986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4498) - you deserved it (36275)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:03am - work - by Wititipwitpwit - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (8578)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (1702)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML

#1678
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21958) - you deserved it (8717)

On 01/18/2009 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by gjh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13822) - you deserved it (6469)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested all of my retirement in Circuit City. FML

#1021
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29270) - you deserved it (2370)

On 01/13/2009 at 5:06am - money - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14485) - you deserved it (4371)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47725) - you deserved it (6603)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28015) - you deserved it (7539)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15080) - you deserved it (6746)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (6971)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version



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